Friday, October 5, 2007

Tina's 2007 Halloweenie Story: Do Not Cry Wolf!

Camping at the UP State Parks is usually safe during the day but at night is another story. This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. For simplicity sake, I’ll just use the names Tina, Sandy, Elaine, Bunny, Katie, and Jessica.

On a cool fall evening, the smoke of their campfire drifted up into the fully moonlit night, making contorted figures in the sky. They were all tired from the active day.

Their morning started out with an 8-mile hike, through the forest. After lunch, they rode their bikes 4 miles to the lake. While resting in the sun, (except for Tina because she recently had a basal cell removed-so she sat in the shade of an old Oak tree, with a yellow ribbon tied around it), the girls chatted about important matters like food, recipes, how many calories in Dale & Thomas’ popcorn, grocery shopping, and what would be for dinner.

A trip into town was needed for the new grocery list they hungered for. The girls piled into Jessica’s Pilemhigh SUV, which can seat 29 people, with plenty of room for grocery cargo. Elaine called shotgun, (she likes to read maps and give directions), and they headed into the little teeny tiny town of Wisenheimer, really-it’s true.

When they arrived at the teeny tiny little town’s General Store; Bunny tripped walking in and knocked over the display of fresh fruit. Katie and Tina just snickered and helped her pick up the bruised ‘barberry’ apples (Katie favorite). While Sandy flirted with the storeowner to smooth Bunny’s blunder over, Jessica noticed an odd-looking store clerk named Eddie. He was gnarled, hunched back, with a friendly snaggle tooth smile that warmed her heart. He had a kind look in his eye, yes, his one eye. Unfortunately, Jessica brought him to Elaine’s attention. From behind the fuzzy sock and slipper display, Elaine began to imitate him. Sandy, watching like a hawk, tried but failed to warn Elaine that the store clerk had turned and seen her. Needless to say but I will for the sake of this true story, one could only imagine that he would vow revenge. Da-da-DA!!!!!

With their appetites satisfied from Elaine’s deliciously prepared dinner (okay, now you know this is a tale), they curled up next to the campfire. Eventually, the laughter turned to quiet giggling, and one by one they drifted off to sleep……until…..the howling began. Elaine nudged Sandy, Sandy nudged Jessica, Jessica nudged Tina, Tina nudged Katie, Katie nudged Bunny, Katie nudged Bunny, Katie poked Bunny, and finally Sandy got up and kicked her chair. They all sat there, wide eyed, with hearts pounding…….listening to the howling which seemed to be getting closer and closer. What would they do if approached by wolves? They hadn’t brought any protection to ward off the prowling night creatures.

What was THAT? Their heads snapped around. Elaine pulled her blanket to where only her eyes were peeking over. In the opposite direction of the howling, they heard the brush rustling, branches snapping….then silence. Jessica stood up and grabbed the grilling fork. Sandy reached for the steak knife, neatly left on her plate. Tina grabbed the charcoal fluid and lighter. Katie nudged Bunny. Katie then realized that Bunny was her weapon of protection because if she had to run away and Bunny didn’t know to run……Katie stopped nudging Bunny.

Suddenly, two wolves leaped out of the darkness and stood drooling and growling. As the thoughts of preparing for fight or flight loomed in their head’s…….BOOM-----BOOM! Out of the woods came the shotgun blasts. Frozen in fear, not understanding what was happening right in front of their eyes, came the sound of footsteps from behind.

Sandy could see the silhouette of something but what? It was gnarled and hunched back. It was EDDIE! Eddie saved them! But why was he there? Why was he out in the woods at night… their campsite? Did he have something else in store for them?

When the girls realized what had just happened, seeing the bloody wolf carcasses, they became loud and hysterical. Sandy calmed Tina. Jessica calmed Elaine. Katie nudged Bunny. Katie nudged Bunny. Katie finally said screw it and pulled her blanket up for her.

Sandy and Jessica circled Eddie, forgetting about the shotgun in his hand. He told his story about how Elaine made him feel when he saw her. Everyone gulped…….as he continued about…… she warmed his heart with her smile. How he saw the look in her eyes of how much she appreciated the way he color coordinated the fuzzy socks and slippers aisle. What they all started to realize is that Eddie never saw Elaine making fun of him! His one eyed vision saved Elaine from what could have been a terrible misfortune.

Eddie explained he had heard one of the girl’s conversations earlier, about this being their first time to this campsite. Eddie feared that they didn’t realize the dangers that lurked at nightfall. He felt an urgency to head for their campsite and protect them. When he neared the campsite, he heard the howling and new the wolves were near. He prepared, in wait, for the approaching-howling creatures, hoping to be able to have a clear shot……and he did.

So, little gnarled, hunched back, snaggle toothed Eddie was our hero. Elaine and Eddie got married. They bought a crooked little pumpkin patch farm; raised 3 crooked little children, and lived happily ever after. The end. Oh, and Bunny went to a Sleep Disorder Treatment Center, got treated, married her doctor, and took us all on a trip to Hawaii! Now, the end.


Anonymous said...

Hey Tina..Think you missed your calling.....But it is never to late to become an author

Aunt Sharon

Katie said...

Great Job Tina...Well Done